"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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