Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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