I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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