How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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