my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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