I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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