I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize