She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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