So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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