My liver just broke up with me...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize