Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
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The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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