Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK

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  (989): if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK http://tfl.nu/niip
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

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  (973): I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like. http://tfl.nu/4kjo
  Replies (13) Good night (4695) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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  (320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl
  Replies (38) Good night (1716) Bad night (5204) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.

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  (304): just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement. http://tfl.nu/6va8
  Replies (20) Good night (4657) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

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  (512): She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not." http://tfl.nu/pkrm
  Replies (18) Good night (6118) Bad night (1147) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

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  (914): just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic. http://tfl.nu/5aat
  Replies (35) Good night (6134) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

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  (410): i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes http://tfl.nu/11ee
  Replies (13) Good night (1935) Bad night (2841) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.

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  (425): Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight. http://tfl.nu/mywq
  Replies (14) Good night (5463) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend

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  (636): i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend http://tfl.nu/jil2
  Replies (7) Good night (6158) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."

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  (518): You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break." http://tfl.nu/3ss4
  Replies (11) Good night (4454) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it

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  (317): So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it http://tfl.nu/80uu
  Replies (7) Good night (4824) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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  (508): You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up. http://tfl.nu/f7oz
  Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.

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  (714): You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus. http://tfl.nu/3jtv
  Replies (2) Good night (1464) Bad night (384)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week

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  (208): i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week http://tfl.nu/49ff
  Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  I won't be able to get a boner for a month

  (916): View more from California

  Challenge accepted.

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  (831): I won't be able to get a boner for a month (916): Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/ivke
  Replies (3) Good night (1109) Bad night (223)

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