Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize