OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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