oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
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If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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