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My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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