ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize