I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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