You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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