Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So many bounce houses so little time
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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