My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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