but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
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That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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