I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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