yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
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Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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