Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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