I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize