THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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