How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize