And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize