I'm eating all of the evidence.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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