I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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