but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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