my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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