Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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