Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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