i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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