do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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