Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize