hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
birth control should be required to get into college
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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