I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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