everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
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I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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