It's just like the Real World with babies
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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