Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
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3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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