we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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