I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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