Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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