***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize