When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize