Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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