I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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